So its been awhile since I last blogged, I’ve kind of falling in love with my best friend brother. Its not her real brother but still they are really close. But I feel like I messed everything up tonight. He asked why am I so nice to him and I couldn’t help but answer with a long sappy girly puppy love text. Its been about two hours now and he hasn’t replied. If I messed everything up don’t know what I’ll do. I’ve never really felt like someone cared this much before. He’s always there to talk, he gives great advice, and I feel like I’ve made a difference in his life or at least I’m something new in his life breath of fresh air maybe. And now that last text just might have ruined our entire relationship. I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s over I really wanted this to work. People say sometimes things just aren’t meant to be, but I know this was meant to be and I was doing so well I was really changing my life and I got anxious and I reacted too quick. Why does this happen to me? Why when I am two feet from being happy I do something to mess it all up. Personally I do not understand why me myself sabotage the happiness in my life. Everyone please pray that this is not it, pray our relationship is not over. Because I do not think I can handle that. The fact that I’m crying right now is not OK. I swear if everything turns out alright I will think my actions over twice before I do them.